Violation
by Vampbarbie
Summary: What if you've done the worst thing possible? And you don't even remember. Rated for adult content, nothing explicit but i'll stay on the safe side. Reviews wanted!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warning: Events of an adult nature. You have been warned so don't flame me if you don't like what you read.

Violation

My eyes slid open and I winced in the bright light. I shifted slightly and felt the rough lumpy mattress underneath my face. I'm lying face down on a mattress that feels like its made of hemp. Something about this isn't right. I open my eyes fully and sit up.

The far wall of the room was made up of metal bars. Bars meant just one thing, a cell. Why am I in a cell? And why can't I remember?

I move position on the bunk, why are my pants undone? I look down at my shirt and that too is half undone and the bottom is buttoned wrongly. I stand up and button my pants. I ignore the whirling of the room and walk to the bars. I hold them so I don't sway too much.

The opposite wall is stone and I'm at the end of what appears to be a corridor.

"Hey!" I yell down the corridor. "Hey!"

A man, Sebaccean, comes walking down the corridor, not bothering to rush. His feet are purposeful. He stops, well out of grabbing reach I notice. He looks like a guard, dressed all in black. On one hip is a pulse pistol and on the other a wicked looking baton type thing that has several flashing lights round the handle. That cannot be good.

"Yes?"

"Why am I here?"

FLASHBACK:

D'Argo came back to the table with the tray full of drinks.

"No fellip nectar?" Chiana pouted.

"No, this is some local spirit. Just drink it," he said handing me my drink.

Aeryn sniffed it suspiciously and took a tiny sip. And I still wanted her, but she won't give me the time of day.

I took a sizable swig and swallowed. This stuff was good. Tasted like tequila, but with a sweeter aftertaste. Like blackcurrants. With a kick. Chiana and me would have fun if no one else would.

I tried to make conversation with Aeryn but she was indifferent to my advances. At one point I caught the scent of her hair and felt my stomach knot inside. I want her so badly.

Many drinks later, I'd lost precise count, when Aeryn was still on the first one; I leant over and grinned at Chiana. "Wanna dance?" My speech was only slightly slurred. I think.

She grinned back. "Sure Crichton. You two ok here?"

D'Argo just grunted and Aeryn shrugged.

The far end of the bar was converted into a dance floor, the table wasn't far away so Aeryn and D'Argo could keep their eyes on us. Miraculously we'd come across one empty table in the crush of people.

I took Chiana's hand and we headed for the dance floor. The band was playing something I didn't know but sounded suspiciously like Bohemian Rhapsody so I started singing it to Pip.

"Mama, just killed a man…"

She giggled and pressed closer to me. I felt my body start to react to her proximity and tried to will it away.

"I know you only want to make Aeryn jealous," she purrs, tilting her head.

"What? I…" the drink has addled my brain and I can't form a response. I look over at the table. Aeryn is deliberately looking away, checking out the bar with a hand resting on her gun. D'Argo looks furious.

She pushes one of her legs between mine and catches my head back to face her. "Why didn't we get it together John?" Her pink tongue catches between her lips and I find myself staring at it. I like the way she purrs my name.

"Behave Pip," I say, words slurring. "You're drunk"

"So are you," she retorts with a grin, and jumps up, legs round my waist and kisses me. Drunken sloppy kisses that we shouldn't be sharing. But I respond anyway. Eventually I pull away and she hops down. My whole body feels like it's tingling.

I look round at the table. D'Argo has gone and Aeryn has downed her drink. I feel my face burning up with shame.

I leave Chiana on the dance floor and head for Aeryn.

"Aeryn I…"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me Crichton." Her tone is hard, brittle. She stands.

"Wait Aeryn let me…"

"You've done enough Crichton," she snaps and leaves the bar. I feel a flash of anger and let her go. I grab D'Argo's unfinished drink from the table and down it.

END FLASHBACK:

"Why are you here?" the guard looks incredulous. "You don't remember?"

"No."

"You'll probably deny it at the hearing tomorrow too. You make me sick…"

"Hearing? What did I do?" I can feel panic rising in my belly. Like a nest of rattlers.

"You attacked and raped two women last night…"

I stare at him in horror. "What? Who?"

"A Nebari girl and a Sebaccean woman."

"No…no…NO! That wasn't me!"

"Your DNA was all over both victims. Scum." The guard spits on me. It hits me on my left shoulder but I don't even move. He walks away whistling.

I can't move. Rape. Nebari and Sebaccean. Chiana and Aeryn. No. That wasn't me. It can't have been me.


	2. Desecration

FLASHBACK

Chiana wraps her arms around me from behind as I sink the drink.

"Forget them," she says sweetly in my ear.

I shake her arms off, rather more angrily than is necessary.

"Hey!" She snaps, looking annoyed.

"No," I say back, irritated but still turned on by her presence. "They've left because we were stupid."

Chiana glares at me.

END FLASHBACK

I just tried to sleep. I can't comprehend what they're accusing me of. Part of my brain is still saying I'm dreaming. More like nightmares. I keep waking up, and as the night comes it gets cold. I won't try asking for a blanket, they won't give me one. I'm a rapist. Supposedly. Oh God what have I done?

FLASHBACK

The ally is dark and full of rubbish. It stinks of something putrid, dead smelling. There's a struggle. Feet thrashing around in the rubbish. I'm holding someone against a wall. It scrapes painfully along my knuckles, as I fight with them. I slap them around the face.

"Hold still tralk!" It's my voice, but horribly slurred.

I grab the person's wrists and hold them above their head. I catch a glimpse of grey bobbed hair as I do.

END FLASHBACK

I run to the latrine and am violently sick. I keep retching until there is nothing left. I sag backwards and sit on the floor. Finally I drag myself to the tiny metal sink and splash my face then rinse my mouth out.

What have I done? What have I done?

I curl up in the corner of the cell and sit there shaking until dawn comes.

Three guards come to take me to the hearing. They've all got their hands on their batons and I think they want me to fight them. But I just hold out my wrists for the restraints and go quietly. If I've really done this I deserve what I get.

They fasten the restraints tighter than they need too and hustle me down the corridor, past other baying prisoners. They know what I'm here for and call me all the corresponding names. Some the translator microbes cope with, some they don't, which to be honest I'm glad about.

They finally lead me to the room where the hearing will take place. It's huge and looks like a courtroom. There's a balcony along one wall filled with people. This planet is mostly Sebaccean but there are a smattering of Nebari and other races. Most of the people look bored, like this is a day out, entertainment where nothing has happened yet.

I stare around; hoping against hope that maybe Aeryn or Chiana are here and they will say this was a terrible mistake. But they're not.

I look up at the head of the room. A man sits there, wearing a Peacekeeper uniform. Now I struggle against the guards. They haul me unceremoniously to my seat and chuck me down. A woman sits further along the bench. She's Sebbacean but not Aeryn so what does she matter?

"John Crichton?" The man says staring at me.

"Yes." I barely force the word out.

"I am Captain Tachit of Peacekeeper command, and I am in charge here. You understand that you are charged with rape?"

The crowd shifts eagerly.

I nod. I can't speak.

"Do you deny it?"

The woman stands up. "Sir, my client does not need to answer that until the trial."

The Captain nods and continues. "Do you realise Crichton that the penalty, should you be found guilty, is death?"

A cold shudder goes through my body.

He leans forwards with a reptilian smile on his face. "You already face charges for murder do you not?"

"No, that was an accident," my voice is small.

"Confess that and guilty or not you can avoid execution. You will be handed over to Crais…"

"No!" I jolt to my feet. "He'll kill me!"

"Guards." Tachit calmly gestures the guards over who start to drag me from the room. He looks to the woman. "Lawyer Hess, I ask you to restrain your client better in future. Trial will be tomorrow at noon. Take him away."

The woman nods and follows us from the room.


	3. Realisation

The guards throw me into the room, and I let them. I deserve this. The lawyer, my lawyer now I guess, follows and sits on the end of the bunk. I actually look at her. She's kind of pretty. Cropped mid-brown hair and hazel eyes. She's wearing some long orangey robe dress thing. I'm too scared to really take it in.

I make sure I'm standing by the farthest wall. I can't be alone with a woman. I press my back hard against the stone.

"John Crichton?"

"You know I am." I sound more defiant than I expected I would.

"This is a very serious charge you face. I'm Mina Hess your attorney. Now there are just a few questions I need to ask you." She whips out a computer pad type thing and consults it. "Your toxicology report state that you were intoxicated by alcohol at the time of the attacks. How many drinks did you have?"

"I don't remember."

She notes this down. "The guards found you passed out in the street not far from the crime scenes. The two victims were a Nebari girl and a Sebaccean woman.."

"Who were they?" I jump in before she can finish.

"The Sebbacean gave her name as Aeryn Sun and the Nebari was Chiana…"

"No…" I moan loudly covering my face with my hands. I feel cold. The stone wall presses hard against my back through my shirt.

"I already know that you know them. I need you to answer some questions ok?" Her voice is gentle. She's trying to distract me. "Tell me about your night."

I stare at the floor as I speak.

"We were at a bar. We were drinking. A lot. And I asked Chiana to dance with me. To make Aeryn jealous, because…well I really like Aeryn but she doesn't like me that way. And Chiana and me were drunk so we started flirting, and then kissing. Then I looked round and D'Argo had left. And I tried to apologise to Aeryn and she didn't want to know. And she stormed out. I think they were mad at me. And I don't remember…" I trail off and finally look up at her. The back of my head hits the wall, but I barely notice.

"Do you deny the rapes?"

"I can't deny what I can't remember."

"Have you been sexually intimate with either of these women previously?"

"No." The thought 'God I wish I had been' crosses my mind and I shake it away. I can't think like that now. "Never." I know she's trying to trip me up. My DNA could be on either of them for so many reasons. But I don't know exactly what they found.

"And you face murder charges?"

"That was an accident. I didn't mean for anyone to die."

Mina sits quietly reading her notes, so I interject.

"How are they?"

"What?"

"Aeryn and Chiana. How are they?" My voice is tiny. Have I hurt them I wonder?

"The Nebari suffered multiple lesions to her body and face, and severe bruising." I'm wincing but I keep listening. "Miss Sun suffers severe bruising and evidence of beating…"

FLASHBACK

A door in front of me being pushed open, into a hotel room.

"Crichton?" Aeryn sits on the bed wearing a little vest and a pair of my Calvin Kline's. She frowns when I don't say a word but keep walking. "Crichton? What's wrong with you? Get out."

Then I'm hitting her. She's not ready for it and her head snaps back. Her nose is bleeding. I hit her over and over again.

"You made me think you wanted me!" I'm screaming at her.

I shove her back on to the bed, as I lean over her. She struggled wildly, but my knees pin her legs down. Her fingernails dig into my hands.

"John…please…" she sounds afraid.

I put my hand over her mouth to shut her up and hold her down on the bed.

END FLASHBACK

"…Both of them are in deep states of shock."

I made her afraid. I scared Aeryn. I scared her. I feel my body slide down the wall, scraping the skin from my hands and wrists. Oh god oh god oh god. I look at my hands. There are half moon shaped cuts that I hadn't noticed before. Fingernails…they're from fingernails. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest, and my breathing speeds up. I can't breathe. Oh god oh god oh god. I'm hyperventilating. The room feels like its spinning. My breath catches in my throat painfully. I try to breathe.

"Are you alright?" Mina is on her feet.

"No…No…" I moan softly feeling tears springing to my eyes. "I think…. I think I might have done it…"


	4. Fear of reapeating myself

I woke in the middle of the night to see shadowy shapes at the bars. They entered my cell as my eyes adjusted enough to see Tachit standing there, guards behind him.

"I just had to look at you again." His voice is steady. But the sense of threat lingers in the air.

"What?" I'm half asleep and confused as hell.

"To see why Crais wants you so badly. See why you're so special that you can keep escaping him. You don't look so special."

I shake my head. "You came to tell me this in the middle of the night?" Defiance might stop me crying again. I cried for hours. I won't cry to them. I won't.

He walks slowly towards me. "Truth is I'm glad you didn't confess to murder. Peacekeeper codes say I'd have to hand you over. This way I get to screw Crais over."

One of the guards hits me with his baton. It sends some kind of shock through me and I feel myself jolt. It stings like hell and my shoulder feels like it's going to explode. I drop to my knees hard, instinctively holding my shoulder. Then the others are on me in a flurry of punches and kicks and batons. I feel strangely detached. I hear my shirt ripping.

"Don't hit his face. I don't want that tralk to use this against us," Tachit says in the distance.

I feel sick. I don't fight back. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe its God's way of punishing me.

They finally stop hitting me. They leave me lying bruised and beaten in my own blood. And as I start to pass out I see Tachit's face wavering in my vision and he says, "I'm glad I decided to screw Crais out of this..." I lose a few words, "…set up…I'll look forward to your execution."

Everything goes black.


	5. Phoenix

Mina wakes me in the morning. She doesn't say anything about how I'm sleeping on the floor. She has laid out a black suit on the bunk.

"So you'll have something smart to wear for the trial," she says. She doesn't say so you'll have something smart to die in.

I strip off my ripped shirt, and wash at the basin quickly, and she turns away. She says nothing about the boot print shaped bruise on my back, or the burn like welts down my arms, which I know she must have seen. The black suit and purple shirt cover it all. Just like they wanted. The suit is almost mandarin style, with a high collar and a long row of buttons. It's not a bad thing to die in.

None of them come to the trial. Mina explains that they don't have to, that their evidence can be given before hand. Statements read out by lawyers, which make it all horribly real. They have photographs, projected onto a big screen, like those slide projectors at high school. I can't bear to look at the injuries I'm supposed to have caused. Fist made bruises, and black eyes, and grazes blue with blood on grey skin. I rest my forehead on the cool wood of the table and wait for the inevitable.

"Guilty."

However inevitable, I feel the world rushing around my ears. I think I might faint. I try to breathe, but my lungs feel like I'm breathing in lead. I keep my head down. I think I might be sick. I don't want to look at Tachit. I can't. I feel tears in my eyes; they drop wetly down my nose onto the table. I'm not ready to die.

"I don't wanna die…" I whisper. Mina rubs her hand up my back.

At the back of the court I hear the doors opening, and I know it's the guards coming to take me away. Then a voice speaks and I'm sure I've died.

FLASHBACK

Aeryn smiles at me in the transport pod. She's piloting us down to the planet. D'Argo and Chiana are elsewhere.

"We're here for supplies Crichton, not your raging libido."

I lean back in my seat. "You know you could help with that."

"Shut up John."

She smiles at me again and I feel my heart melt just that little bit more.

END FLASHBACK

"You will release him right now!"

My head snaps up. What the?

"John."

Oh god oh god oh god.

D'Argo reaches me in a few long strides. "Are you alright John?"

This isn't real. It isn't. It can't be.

Aeryn is standing in the aisle pointing a pulse rifle at Tachit. Her dark hair hangs down her shoulders and she looks beautiful. She looks deadly. She doesn't look afraid. She doesn't look bruised or beaten. She doesn't look raped. But this is Aeryn. She could survive the end of the world and always look the same.

And Chiana hovers between her and D'Argo. There isn't a mark on her either. She looks like she wants to run to me but can't.

I slide down the bench away from them. Mina is on her feet, looking confused. "What the frell is going on?"

I finally find my voice.

"Get them away from me!" I yell pointing at Aeryn and Chiana.

"John what?" D'Argo has a confused expression on his face.

"You know what I did!" The tears continue to fall. "What I did to them."

"What did you do John?" D'Argo's voice is soft, reassuring.

"I…I…I raped them."

"No you didn't!" Chiana shouts at me. "Stop being farbot. You did nothing to us. It was a set up."

"No. It can't be…I remember doing it…no no" I'm getting hysterical.

Mina interjects. "They found him guilty. I tried to defend him."

Guards barrel into the room. D'Argo and Chiana snap their weapons to cover them. The onlookers scramble to escape the public gallery. Aeryn never even flinches. She advances towards Tachit, her rifle aimed at his head.

"You will let him go." Her voice is low.

"Why should I?" Tachit snarls back.

"Because I will shoot you right now. You set this up. John didn't do anything…"

"Yes I did!" I scream. "I did it. I must of…" I'm so far past hysterical its untrue.

D'Argo's tongue solves the problem for all of us.

My eyes flutter open and the first thing I see is Aeryn. My beautiful Aeryn. I feel slightly sick.

"You're awake."

I lick my dry lips. "Where am I?"

"Moya. We brought you back."

I sit up suddenly, ignoring the dizziness this brings. "I didn't hurt you did I? It wasn't true?"

"No. It was all lies. They drugged you. Faked the memories, faked the injuries, faked the pictures…"

"…So none of it was true…" I swallow hard, biting back the tears that I feel. I'm not a rapist. I'm not. They got inside my head. "What did happen to me?"

Aeryn smiles, a little sadly. "You annoyed Chiana enough that she left you at the bar. You must have really annoyed her. D'Argo had already gone to bed when I got back to the hotel. I was getting ready for bed when you came…"

"I what?" Oh no.

"You were so drunk you didn't know what you were doing. So I told you to get out, you didn't. You fell onto the bed next to me and nuzzled up to my arm and started drooling. I shook you until you woke up and made you leave. I guess they must have snatched you off the street." Aeryn shrugs.

FLASHBACK

Aeryn's shoulder is warm against my cheek. I feel sleepy. Her bed is comfortable. I vaguely sense her lean down to me, her hair tickling my face, and her lips brush mine. She sits back up, tidies her hair and jerks her arm away. My face hits the bed with a gentle bounce.

"Go to your own room John. Now."

She gives me a push and I stumble for the door.

END FLASHBACK

"Sleep now John. You need to rest. Those guards did a job on you."

She thinks I don't see her touch her lips as she leaves, and I wonder if that flashback was real.


End file.
